WAR OF WORRIES

You were probably worried about how you’d pay your mortgage this month at 3 am last night or how the pandemic has been affecting your career in several dimensions, how your child would get better at studies or when we will finally be able to breathe air without a mask…the mind seems to be jumping from one to the other worries of our life and it’s so frustrating!

All you want is a peaceful sleep after a long day of work and this rant seems to have no end. Wishing you had a switch-off button to your mind?

I’m in the club too! 

And oh! It’s not just the nights, the mornings sometimes are even worse!

But where is all this coming from?

We could go another hour naming the reasons but what’s more important for us is to find the “off” button to our mind when it goes into the rant mode.

Worry is a natural response of our mind to the uncertain situations around us or about the future.

At optimum levels, it keeps us on our feet to deal with the uncertainty by performing our best at whatever the task. It helps us take precautions for the potential mistakes that could happen and aids problem-solving.

The real problem arises when the worry goes overboard.

Here are a few things I have realized over a period of time.

  • Most of the time, we are repeatedly thinking of the same which makes us feel like it’s a huge problem when it is actually not!
  • We attach an emotional factor with most of our thoughts which is why the worries seem to be uncomfortable and painful.
  • We generally do not articulate or share with anyone the things that bother us in our head but when we speak about it to someone or write them down somewhere, they seem a lot smaller and simple after coming out of the head.
  • The worry seems to control us because we fear it. When we learn how to push it aside and carry on with our work, it subsides eventually.
  • We set really high goals for ourselves sometimes which are very hard to achieve. When our mind realizes the difficulty of it and how we may not be able to attain them, it triggers panic and restlessness.

All these points gave me an insight into another fact that we have the solution to these worries in our own hands.

One could probably deal with them in these ways:

  • We all want to be at the top of our game always, we want to be perfect! It is good to work towards that but that might not be possible every time. It might get challenging to do everything by ourselves when there are too many tasks at hand which could be one primary trigger for worry. Hence, there is nothing wrong with asking for help or delegating the work if we have the opportunity to. It might give us the necessary space to focus on the important stuff we need to work on.
  • Thoughts keep coming back to our head, especially the negative ones. Such is the nature of the mind. We need to figure out a way for ourselves that these thoughts don’t take control over us. Letting it out to close family members or friends is a good idea because of many reasons. Firstly, when we get them out of our heads, they mostly seem very small giving us the confidence that we can tackle them. Next, speaking out lets in other perspectives on the same issue which could be potential solutions.
  • Worrying eliminates the logical thinking and reasoning perceptions from our thoughts when we excessively think over the issues. We fail to apply rationality to our thought getting carried away by the emotional factors.

When we find ourselves in such a situation, it is a good idea to try and comprehend the issue into small statements or even one single statement if possible. This way, the focus of our thoughts shifts to the main problem leaving behind all other unnecessary thoughts.

Next, we should try and define our desirable outcomes which put us on track to find the solution.

  • Ask yourself one question if the mind refuses to stop. “How important would this be to me 1 month (specific period of time – 2yrs, 5yrs, etc.) from now?” If the issues are small, the thoughts usually stop immediately. If they are bigger, thinking constructively might help.
  • And finally, being prepared and performing to the best of our capabilities is all we can do to deal with the uncertainty of the future. Catastrophizing about it is no good.

Worrying about things not only hampers our productivity and thinking abilities but also destroys our happiness and peace of mind in the present day. Precaution, preparation, and presence of mind in most cases do address our concerns. Fear over anything only makes things worse for us.

What we need to remember always is that everything happens for a reason and sometimes bitter experiences are better teachers than the happier ones.

So do your prep and face the monster of worry and fear…you will certainly find yourself more satisfied!

Hope you all find this useful and relatable. Thank you so much for reading through it.

I’d love to know your thoughts on how else we can deal with worry, please share them in the comments below.

I’ll see you next Sunday with another post.

Until then…Toodles!

 

Written by: admin

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