We can never talk enough about self-esteem.

Such is its importance in our lives. Such is the confusion around it.

There are so many ways people define self-esteem and a new one pops up each time.

Let’s explore a little self-esteem today!

Self-esteem in the simplest terms can be defined as having confidence in our worth, work, values, abilities, and decisions.

It can make or break people.

I realize, that in a few of the recent articles I wrote, almost every aspect I talked about affects our self-esteem in some or the other way.

Be it rejection, or being bogged down by uncertainty, feeling insecure about our abilities, or getting eaten by the bug of self-doubt, one common impact all these problems have on us is that they hit hard on our self-esteem.

Is self-esteem so easy to break?

Yes, if we are not mindful of what we let affect our mind.

No, if we are constantly working on ourselves to become better human beings.

Self-esteem is and should be one of the most prized possessions of a human being. It is a psychological asset that can take us places while the lack of it can almost stagnate our growth as an individual both personally and professionally.

The feelings of self-doubt, of being unworthy, of being incompetent and underserved stem from the only monster called lack of self-esteem. The worst part of this is that apart from not allowing you to believe in yourself, it does not even let the trust of others in you make you feel better! How bad is that!? This demon in your head keeps telling you that you are useless even when the entire world has praises for you.

If not others, at least you don’t want to tell yourself that you can’t make it!

Now you know why it is so important to work on developing healthy self-esteem.

Multiple factors in our lives influence this asset. Here are a few I found that are very important.

Childhood: It’s intriguing how important the child phase of a person’s life is, given how much, and how many aspects of life it can influence. The quality of our self-esteem is largely based on our experience with life as a child. We do not realize, but the smallest of things can have a tremendous impact on our minds and how we look at ourselves and our perspective towards life. We need to remember that in this phase, it is the little things that matter.

Beliefs: In continuation to the previous factor, beliefs are another major factor that can influence our self-esteem and self-image. We as children almost unconsciously build up belief systems based on what people around us behave with us. Self-limiting beliefs could be a result of bitter childhood experiences in various spheres.

Failures: Failures and rejections are painful. But they can cause harm when not taken in the right spirit. We should be able to learn and get over them. The feelings of defeat and loss from failure can cause us to look down upon ourselves and hence hinder our development.

Illnesses or disabilities: Dealing with chronic illness or disabilities could take a toll on our self-esteem. They might see themselves as unfit and worthless and could also root to issues like social isolation.

Work environment, financial statuses, and media influences are a few other things that could impact the way we look at ourselves. The compulsion to be, look and behave a certain way that may not be of our nature could also for the basis of negative feelings towards ourselves. We need to be constantly aware and vigilant about how the difficult situations in our lives affect us.

When there are so many things that could easily break the confidence we have in our self, we need to be aware of the tools and techniques that can help us maintain the balance of our self-esteem. Here are a few things that might help.

Journaling: This is a magic tool that can work wonders and help one cope with almost all types of negative emotions. The act of writing down our feelings and apprehensions gives us an insight into our problems. Doing this for some time regularly could help us understand our thought patterns aiding us to work constructively towards dealing with those issues.

Skill Enhancements: We may not notice, but it could be a lack of some skills either on personal or professional fronts that are contributing to our esteem issues or even other problems like inability to manage anger. Trying to identify those issues and working towards building them up could be a great way to enhance self-esteem.

Achievement Logs: Looking back at achievements could be an amazing way of dealing with low self-esteem. It is a good idea to maintain an achievement log and refer to it in times when feeling low. It could instantly boost one’s self-esteem and give them the required push to work towards their goals.

Apart from these, there are a few things that we need to be mindful of regularly. We are constantly surrounded by different kinds of people in our lives. We need to identify the influence each of them has on us and be careful about the “toxic” ones. Surround yourself with positive people whom you know will have your back through thick and thin. Also, we need to understand and embrace the fact that none of us are perfect and it is okay as long as we are working towards getting better in any small way we can.

And finally, always remember, you are your own boss!

I hope you could find this useful and resonate with my opinion on self-esteem.

I’d love to know what self-esteem means to you. Please share your views in the comment below.

Thank you so much for reading through this.

I’ll see you next Sunday with another article!

Until then…Toodles!

Written by: admin

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  • M V Raja

    In my over two decades of professional journey, I had come across many who suffered from low self esteem. This not only undermines one’s capability, it also reduces one’s bargaining power.
    There were quite a few instances where we were prepared to offer more salary but the candidate’s expectations on his own capability was less
    The reasons mentioned by you are pertinent and unless this is nipped in the bud, the consequences could be catastrophic.
    One reason I see this happening is on account of too much introspection and too much self questioning. While being careful is ok, being circumspect is not.
    I know a few professionals who slip into self doubting and self questioning way too often and this had lead to them falling in their own assessment.

    As usual, your post is thought provoking and we can certainly help individuals overcome this
    Great going

  • Diksha Taskhedkar

    Amazing post. Self esteem as a concept is widely talked about yet when it comes to an individual level we still get clouded by biases and thought distortions. Posts like these make us as a collective conscious own up to it and take actions (be it in terms of acceptance or by levelling up in skills). Very good read! 🙂

  • Lisa

    Self esteem for me is the ability to elevate yourself worth above adversaries that come to challenge your value.
    Great article !