SELF-DOUBT??

 Last week we saw a fun article about how our mind tricks us into believing false stuff and thus causing so much unnecessary chaos in our minds and I’m so happy many of you liked it! 

Today’s article will be an extended version of the thought traps you read last week.

So back in school I used to have this feeling that I was overrated as a student. I was chosen as deputy head girl and head girl for two consecutive years, I would score exceptionally well in all my subjects and was a very good performer in every activity I took up. I was every teacher’s pet and was among the list of best students in the entire school.

But to me it occured that all this came to me because I was lucky and not because I had those things in me.

It was not a persistent or an overwhelming feeling that made me sad or something. Just that it was seated at the back of mind and kept coming back to me once in a while. I thoroughly enjoyed every bit of my schooling and cherished everything that came my way…but on and off  kept feeling little low thinking that all this was by chance and would desert one day or the other.

In Fact even I was not sure or clear that it was this feeling that kept me low, and because I was not able to define this feeling, I tried to push it aside. But I must admit, that in crucial times, it did hamper my self-esteem and made it troublesome and exhausting to make any important decisions though it could not stop me from doing what I wanted.

Obviously I outgrew those feelings over time and learned to fill myself up with positivity and determination.

I thought it happened only to me until recently when I read about this thing called Imposter Syndrome. It was surprising to find out that it is a very common thought pattern and many people experience this quite often especially during testing times! It is very commonly seen in women.

But what is imposter syndrome?

Feelings of not internalizing your achievements, not giving yourself enough credit for what you did or feeling like all that you have is because you are lucky and not because you earned it constitute this phenomenon called Imposter Syndrome.

In this condition, people see themselves as a fraud. They are basically low on self-esteem and cannot attribute their success to their hard work but trace it to the bad performance of everyone else!

Though it is not an identified psychiatric condition, it is one of the very common mental health concerns that people face. It could also indicate the onset of problems like anxiety disorders or even depression!

There could be so many reasons as to why people look at themselves as not worthy enough but I would like to say that the basis for all those reasons is one thing called cognitive distortion! 

A cognitive distortion is a situation where our mind works to make us believe all our negative thoughts and convince us that it is the reality.

So essentially, imposter syndrome is a thought trap where we are continuously thinking that we are not rightful owners of all that we have in our lives. ( There’s one entire article that I wrote about thought traps, in case you’d like to read about it. It is called TRAPPED!!)

Honestly, to some extent imposter syndrome could push us to work harder to reach our goals. It is necessary to have thoughts that keep us grounded and modest and it could be this. Therefore, in little amounts, the feeling of not being good enough is beneficial in some ways.

The problem arises when these thoughts become uncontrollable and go overboard. 

It could hamper our personal or professional growth and affect us a lot mentally. It could become a big hurdle to overcome and destroy our self-esteem.

It could meddle with our courage negatively and prevent us from exploring newer opportunities. In the long-run, it could force us to even quit what we are doing because of feeling like we are wrongly placed.

And the list of what all it could do can go on endlessly. However, we want to find a way to deal with this shrew that demolishes our mental peace and after some reading here and there, I have found a few ways that could prove these thoughts wrong.

Here are a few.

  • When a person suffers from imposturous feelings, they tend to define success and failure in a way that makes them believe that they are wrong. For example, they would see success as an accident and failure as a result of being bad at work or because it was their fault that things went wrong. Instead, one could interpret them as the other way round! They could try and find facts that prove that they became successful because they worked hard and failed only because of bad luck and not because they were faulty! Trying to separate facts to prove the negative feelings wrong is certainly an effective way to deal with this situation.
  • While dealing with these feelings, we might always end up beating ourselves up for not being good enough at what we are doing. It is important to stop comparing ourselves with the rest and acknowledge the fact that you are unique. It would be really helpful to accept that when you are a part of a group like your workplace, there will always be a range of skill levels and that each of them make a difference in their own way! You have been put in your place for a reason and there’s no point in comparing yourself to anything or anyone else.
  • Whenever you feel low thinking that you are bad at what you are doing…ask for feedback from people around you. Ask them if you are good enough or if you need to work towards getting better at something. This would act as an assurance and provide evidence to your thoughts.
  • Make it a practice to record all your positive feedbacks in a particular place and keep going back to it once in a while. It would make you realize that what you have is not by luck and that you have earned every bit of it by yourself. People could just see your work and have moved on and yet if they have taken time out to appreciate you for something, then probably there’s something worth in you. Let that not go in vain by panicking about negative stuff! This practice could instantly boost your morale and inspire you to excel at a niche!
  • Finally, ask yourself one question when the feeling of being an imposter keeps coming back to you. Ask “if I were not worthy enough of being where I am and if I am scared that other people may find out, why haven’t they found out about my incapability in so much time? What is taking them so long? ” Logically, not all people around you could be equally oblivious like you think they are. If you are not fit to be in your place, one or the other person would have noticed it by now and if none of them have, then your thoughts are probably false!

I think this information would be helpful because it can help one be more mindful of what they are thinking and also aid in reasoning them more logically.

These ways have helped me challenge my thoughts of self-doubt and I hope they help you out too! 

Thank you very much for reading through this.

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I’ll see you next Sunday with another post!

Until then… Toodles!!

 

 

 

Written by: admin

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