We all have experienced at least once, the pain of being rejected in our lives because it is one of the most common distresses we encounter.
In times we are living today, even unattended calls, texts, or emails make us feel rejected or unwanted. Apart from this, the rejection of the application to your dream job or just being left as a lone wolf by a group of friends more often than not sows the seed of self-sabotage!
Big or small, one thing common and constant about rejection is that it is painful and surprisingly more pinching than we think it can be.
While most of us get over it after a period, some people get affected to the extent of losing peace of mind. This begins to interfere with almost all their activities and there begins a new story of collapsing mental wellbeing. One of the most common reasons given by people who suffer from mental health issues like anxiety and stress disorders or even depression is that they fail at dealing with rejection.
But what exactly is rejection?
Rejection is the act of not accepting or denying one’s request for doing something. It is also defined as the act of pushing something or someone away.
It could happen because of so many reasons but it often results in a person feeling guilty and shameful.
And why is the response to this behavior only negative?
We humans fundamentally crave social acceptance and validation for we are social animals and rejection threatens our need for social inclusion. Our brains have developed this mechanism very early on in the process of evolution and hence it perceives rejection as a warning sign of conflict between two different attitudes.
Most people indulge in excessive self-criticism and brood over their short-comings in these situations. What we generally forget in a rejection scenario is that one is not always rejected because of being wrong but it is rather about “fitting” perfectly within a group, community, or organization.
Hence, there is not much to feel bad about yourself for being rejected.
Unfortunately, some people just have a hard time moving on that it causes emotional or psychological wounds that are difficult to deal with. Loneliness due to long periods of rejection shatters our self-esteem. It makes us feel very unwanted and triggers excessive self-doubt which might be harmful. It also causes us to lose balance over our anger and aggression. Trauma, anxiety disorders, depression, and stress disorders could all be consequences of relying on rejections for very a long time.
You might feel the urge to chide yourself for being “wrong” after facing rejection, but your strength lies in supporting yourself and working towards becoming a person.
Surely it is required to go back to the situation to understand the circumstances and work upon the “should and should not” for the future. However, one should always remember to do it with a constructive perspective to be able to benefit from revisiting an unpleasant incident.
All said and done, it is undeniable that some rejections are just too difficult to handle and that they affect us mentally even when we want to leave it behind. And this issue can only be handled by trying to counter all the negative thoughts that occupy our minds.
Reminding yourself of your worth works as an excellent counter to negative thoughts and almost instantly boosts self- esteem.
Every person certainly has a few qualities that make them so valuable and it is these things that they should treasure. Remind yourself of all those instances where you were specifically appreciated for doing something or exhibiting certain values and you will instantly realize how much you underrate yourself. Making an achievement log is one of the best ways to deal with every negative thought. It is important to be kind to yourself especially while going through the rough phases of life.
Also, our need to have social bonds is more compelling than we realize it is and so we should try and make our existing bonds stronger. Communicate more often with your near and dear ones and you will remember that there are people in your life who have always got your back.
This makes it easy to deal with hurtful circumstances.
There is nothing wrong with exposing your vulnerabilities to your loved ones and seeking support from them. It is a lot better than dealing with it all alone because they might just help you grow out of it easily and also aid in the development of your personality.
It would help you think more constructively and make you very confident about yourself hence increasing your endurance towards handling adverse situations.
After all, most of us have been through these conditions sparingly and have put up with all the agony it brings along with itself, learning the know-how of conducting oneself in these situations and knowing to minimize the psychological damage it can inflict could only be beneficial.
I hope this article has given you an insight into how you can deal with situations like rejection.
Thank you so much for reading through this.
I’d love to read your inputs and feedback if any or suggestions on what more you’d like to read here so please drop them in the comments section below!
I’ll see you next Sunday with another post.
Until then… Toodles!