ASSERTION – A SKILL TO LEARN

Have you ever found yourself in uncomfortable situations because you could not communicate your concerns clearly? 

It so happens that we worry a little too much about making others feel bad and so take the unnecessary stuff on to us. We would rather take the pain ourselves than confront the situation directly. 

Sometimes, this attitude could get us into serious trouble.

We might always feel frustrated because of giving in to the obligations and hesitations and doing things that we don’t really want to do. There might be other things at that moment that require our attention but our inability or hesitation to assert our needs and put forward our priorities is the real problem here.

What we are afraid of when we want to put forth our concerns is upsetting others or rupturing relations with people. But is there no way to address this issue? Do we always have to surrender to these constraints? What is a way out of this?

The way out is exactly what we are going to discuss today! Read on!!

Assertiveness is one skill that we all need to get some hold on. It is the ability to communicate our needs, priorities, or thoughts effectively while paying respect to the differential perspectives and not offending the other person’s opinions. 

It is a positive trait that we should be building upon but we need to be mindful of giving others sufficient space and maintaining our boundaries at all times. Going a little overboard on being assertive could make us “bossy” and that could come as a contributing factor to disrupting amicable relationships.

Here are a few ways I found that could come in to help us communicate the difference more effectively.

  • Most people usually find it hard to admit that they don’t agree with something because they lack the confidence to do so. They fear being judged for saying so or are scared that the other person might misunderstand them. This problem could be solved by addressing underlying esteem issues. Also, making up our minds and becoming sure that what we think makes a valid point would automatically boost our confidence to discuss it aloud. 
  • A few other people just do not know how to express themselves more neutrally or positively. Assertion is a lot about balance. It teaches us to establish our viewpoints firmly even in the most complicated situations without resorting to aggression. One could strike this balance through politeness. It might as well be that you do not agree at the slightest with the opposite person but you could still convey that by being as polite as you can. It is always a good idea to explain yourself clearly and also hear out the other side. It allows coming out with solutions that could be agreeable to both sides.
  • Assertion is sometimes mistaken as the need to criticize or accuse.  In fact, there is no need for criticism at all to assert and put forward our views. Using criticism to let the other person know of our feelings might not be received pleasantly. Criticism could trigger hostility towards us and just ruin the entire conversation. Expressing how you feel rather than holding them responsible for your feelings is a good way to go about this situation. Conveying how to feel and seeking help through mutual understanding could solve the problem from both sides.
  • Assertiveness is also about paying attention to the other person’s opinions and understanding them. We should always be aware and cautious of not rubbing our views on others and rather focus on conflict resolution. It as much about listening carefully to bring forth a solution as about communicating our own issues. Being open and receptive to discussion and considerate about the other side’s needs is also very essential to reach common ground on a given matter. 

Also, some people find it very hard to deny anyone of any help and at times put themselves in difficult situations because of this. It is very necessary to learn to say “No” at times. 

Being assertive while maintaining the calm in tough situations is an indicator of belief in self and strong confidence. It depicts the person’s ability to manage stressful situations more effectively. It also increases our respect for us in other people’s eyes for conducting ourselves in a composed manner. 

This is one skill that all aspiring leaders should be working to enhance upon because they would be carrying responsibilities on their shoulders and should not be regretting the decisions they make.

Finally, assertiveness is a positive skill to attain could help us stay out of so many stressful situations

Thank you so much for reading through this and I hope that you found it useful!

I’ll see you next Sunday with another article. 

Until then…Toodles!!

Written by: admin

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