One factor that makes us humans different from all other living beings is that we all have the ability to express our feelings and emotions verbally. This ability sometimes makes bigger impacts on our lives than we realize.
Let us consider a few emotions and how they can affect our lives… When we do something that gives us joy or happiness, we tend to indulge in those things more often and this can give us more peace and serenity. Similarly, we get consumed by our grief or even anger in some situations which leads to negative consequences beyond our imagination, at times even costing lives.
It is usually because of the damage negative emotions can cause that we need to learn to have control over our emotions.
Of all the emotions that cause pain, anger is one emotion that we should be more careful about.
Anger is an emotion that we use to express dissatisfaction or unhappiness. It could range from mild irritation to intense rage. Generally, we get angry when we feel that our safety, security, or image is threatened or when we do not meet our plans or expectations.
And anger is one such emotion that when we experience it our body creates a large amount of physical energy in order to cope with it.
That is why we feel the need to shout at people or hit them.
But we might not always be able to express our anger in aggressive ways or the ways we want. This means we tend to suppress it in some situations.
While pairing aggression with anger can have its own adverse effects, suppressing it is also equally or even more dangerous.
The ultimate intention of our anger is to stop an action or event that is not right according to us or to solve an existing issue. But often we find ourselves in a situation where anger complicates the issue further. This happens because we do not express it in a proper way. We don’t pay much attention to it rather. Knowing about the different ways we use to express anger would make us more conscious about our behavior and help us make it better.
Here are a few examples of how people express their anger in different ways.
Avoidance: Mostly noticed among women because they are often told that they shouldn’t express their emotions, avoidance is a method they use to suppress their anger. They try to mask it by smiling and telling people they are fine. This method is of no benefit because it removes the option of discussing the issue or trying to find a solution. Hence, the cause of anger does not get solved and there’s only anger each time causing so many side-effects.
Explosive anger: Some people don’t get angry easily. But when their patience is tested, they explode like a volcano without any warning. This is usually seen in people who need to maintain a good image, like teachers. The problem seen here is that when they “explode”, they get carried away the anger and become very irrational. They do not even differentiate between “friend and foe” causing to hurt loved ones even unintentionally. This jeopardizes the situations instead of solving it.
Passive anger: Most people don’t prefer confronting and sorting out issues with people who cause the problem to them. Instead, they choose to annoy and cause further trouble to the person to express their anger and claim it to be accidental. Such a way of expression does not solve the issues but adds to it because this behavior provokes the other person also to behave in a negative way. Therefore, they only end up hurting each other repeatedly.
Sarcasm: This is something that we all have done or experienced at least once. At times, people don’t want to express their irritation directly because it might get them a negative image, so they resort to other ways because they want to let it out anyways. They make sarcastic comments or crack sarcastic jokes on the people who caused them the anger. If the other person doesn’t react, it annoys them further and if they take it seriously, it complicates the conflict but does not resolve the issue for sure.
While we already know that excess anger can trigger physical health issues like high blood pressure, nervous and heart problems, it also causes a greater impact on our mental health by destroying our peace of mind and happiness.
These examples were just an illustration of how suppressing or inappropriately expressing anger can upset situations.
Being mindful of how we deal with our anger can surely take us a step closer towards getting the right outcome out of the burn-up.
I hope you find this article relatable and of some use in your experiences.
I’ll see you next Sunday with another post…Toodles!!